Learning and growing a wee bit more

Today.. Whilst getting my morning wake up caffeine in GLoria Jeans.. anelderly woman sat down next to me.. and we started talking.. about her life experiences after 50 years of living and my aspirations for the future..

From her.. Anna is a mother of 2.. children at about my age.. what she has done to help give them a little push in the right direction.. Anna said "there is only three things i asked from my children.. be good.. follow your dreams and dont forget to love.. this 3 simple rules she set.. has proven to have gone a long way.. her son only 20 having already secured a job before entering uni at 42000 AUS.. her daughter.. due to her brother.. also got a job offer.. it is amazing to see Anna's face just light up at the thought of the childrens future security.. that is all she needs as a mother.. to know that her children always going to be OK as she dont know when she cant be there for them anymore.. THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF A MOTHER!~

Likewise, Anna's parents and grandparents have been through a lot to get her here.. World war 1, Hitler's journey, World war II.. her mom was Jewish, during that time discrimination was all around, her parents had to give her away, paid a couple a lump sum.. in exchange for her bringing up and safety, her mum was lucky enough to have been given to a decent couple as he promised that he would not touch her (rape) Anna's father.. Nuremberg Laws were passed by the Nazis restricting citizenship to those of “German or related blood.. hence her dad was put in a box for 7 days.. given a small piece of bread and a tiny portion of water.. still having the Holocaust numbers printed on his wrist always reminding him of his past..

the most importent thing in life is to have love around you.. be it friends, family ,lovers or love for yourself.. what is the point of having everything.. but being alone? we often lose our way in life.. due to materialistic indulgence.. but if we have a strong sense of love.. the chances are we wont stray to far from the right path..

With love,
Loris

Cheaters?

Why do people cheat? Well.. mostly, men cheat.. although women have done a good job in the last decade or so, catching up in the cheating game, men are still considerably ahead in that game..

Cheating reasons..
1) I don't love you anymore
2) It involves a slut or a basturd
3) It was convenient (LD rship)
4) I was drunk
5) Its just physical!@ But I love you!
6) I dont know why.. I just fell in love with Mr/Ms X

TO me.. all are freaking.. BULL! lol.. really.. if you dont like a person anymore.. just tell her/him.. it is much much kinder! And come to think of it.. isnt it the least you can do for them? to break up with them instead of betray them? its just disrespectful if you were to do it otherwise!

A Real Life experience:

Guy met Girl through a mutual friend.. started talking.. Girl treated the Guy NORMALLY! NO flirting whatsoever! THEN one day..

Guy: I'm thinking of breaking up with my gf
Girl: Oh.. why? Do you guys have problems?
Guy: No.. I think we are losing feelings and I think I met someone better
Girl: Really? don't u think its pbly just lust.. you and your gf came a long way.. 2 yrs!
Guy: No.. but I think it can really go far with this 'other' girl..
Girl: Ok. but its not fair to your girlfriend.. the only acceptable reason for you to leave your gf is if you dont love her anymore and not cos of any third party right?
Guy: Ok.. this is what you dont know.. the 'other' girl i met is u!..

Girl rejected Guy.. because of the obvious! Guy cheated on the ex by pursueing another girl! WTF! Although guy may have the looks and charm.. but.. OMG>. if a girl was to accept this kinda confession! There is a very high chance that one day she would look back and say.. DAMN.. I should have seen it coming!

Past, Present, Future

LOL.. after retiring from blogging 2 years ago.. I suddenly felt the urge to start writing again..

LIFE.. is short.. something my sister said.. “we will never be as young as we are today.. as tomorrow we will be older..”

That scares me.. I am now 21 years old.. to some I am young and the world is my oyster.. but in the past few months I feel I have aged years instead of months.. the future is like a dark space.. most of us are just feeling our way around the dark room trying to find a way out.. if we are lucky there may be a light to guide us out.. but for the rest of us.. we just have to feel our way around and hope that we can find a door or even window..


Each time I return home.. I see my parents getting older.. It scares me.. I have lived for 21 years.. my parents have provided me with everything for 21 years.. right now, my parents are 55 years old.. isn’t it time they step down and let us daughters take over the reins? Should it be our turn to take care of them for the next 21 years? Being the youngest.. hence my parent's last burden.. I am fighting to be independent.. Questions come to my mind.. where will I be a year from today?.. will I be able to get a job..? will the economy be better next year or worse? will I be able to get my PR? When will I be able to support myself? When can my parents retire?

To look for answers.. we may go to fortune tellers.. temples.. hoping to find a little bit of guidance.. but ultimately the decision is in our own hands. We have take responsiblity for the consequences of our decisions good and bad.. WHAT IF THE ROAD WE CHOOSE IS THE WRONG ONE?

“One step at a time" by Jordin Sparks..
This song speaks out to me..

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you've always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch

[Bridge]
You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting
We live and we learn to take

[Chorus]
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

[Verse 2]
You believe and you doubt
You're confused, you got it all figured out
Everything that you always wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew

[Bridge]
You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting
We live and we learn to take

[Chorus]
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

[Verse 3]
When you can't wait any longer
But there's no end in sight
It's the faith that makes you stronger
The only way we get there
Is one step at a time

[Chorus]
Take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

Dear Amak..

Always will i remember what you have said,
The little things you said that shows you care..
.. be careful when you are out..
.. take care of yourself..
.. dun bathe too late..

The countless kisses and hugs that go way back..
.. which were still not enough..

The way you are..
.. laughing aloud when you watch T.V..
.. feeding Silver whenever you get the chance..
.. sitting in your favourite chair..
.. coming up to accompany me when i was sick..

The countless kisses and hugs that go from way back..
Your last words, hug, kiss seems like it was just yesterday..

I'm sorry that I couldn't make it on time..
You will always live in my heart as I have, am and will be forever loving you..
Thank you Amak.. for giving me the chance to love you.. letting me know the meaning of unconditional love..

Missing angels..

Hmm.. haven updated in so long..

So much has past..
Had a memorable birthday.. thanks to everybody that came.. Celebrated a HOT Christmas.. seen the fireworks to welcome the New Year.. and next up Valentines Day.. (hoping to celebrate it with beloved friends back home)..

dunno y i chose the title missing angels.. as i feel the opposite.. With this new year.. i feel angels by me all the time.. my friends.. family.. teachers.. even my dogs.. people that are there.. providing me support.. lending me a hand, an ear, a voice, a heart when i needed it the most.. if these aren't angels.. i dunno wat is..

So.. this blog is dedicated to the angels in my life..

To my family..
People that have known me since day 1.. hoping for our love to guide us through till the end.. wishing but knowing that i can never do as much for you as you have done for me.. hoping for forgiveness if i have done wrong.. hoping one day to make you proud.. I love u!

To my friends,
Gang back home..
my girls.. SK, mien, pooi, MW, eve, boys.. charlie, yau, hau, k.j, jian, k.c, wins, ben......
Missing you all like crazy.. the nights out, the road trips, the talking.. everyone of u is important as even without one.. the impact is huge.. i feel comfort.. safety.. mebbe cos i know you have got my back.. feeling you will always be there.. if not physically, mentally.. its been a year.. and it feels like a piece of my heart is missing.. cos that piece is with you.. hugs..

Feisty se7ens..
You girls are part of who i am today.. great friends.. great listeners.. who have been there from the very start.. helping me grow.. become who i am today.. and will always be a part of me.. being forever part of me.. which is why u will never dissapear.. at least not in my heart..

Melbourne peeps..
the world.. chai, lee yee, peng, safia, zy, vd, wei sern, yao, jon, goh
the group.. zia, cher, pris, mj, gav, joo, p.h, jack, gan, yen, sy,

Melbourne would not be the same without you.. been there for me when i first step into this foreign place, helping me stand up on my own, thankful for your companianship, guidance, support. Wishing u all well in the new year.. and hoping for friendships to grow..


All the angels in my life.. hoping for a fantastic year ahead.. hoping to do a at least a little back in repayment of my endless debt in this New Year.. lots of love!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Wild Nites to Remember..

Last Friday night was quite crazy..

my roomies (e lin & mich) and me.. We had dinner with benjy, s.h, and jordan at Vons to celbrate Mich's belated Birthday.. hmm.. the food was delish! YuMmy Yum yUM.. we had already celbrated on her b'day with mich's uni friends.. jas, j.m, john and kim..


After that me mich and lyn headed to Lavish with Er ge, Chun Leong, Kenneth, C Yang, Lian, Alvin and his friends.. their table was at the techno room.. wAH.. dem a lot of pro SHufflErs.. i was in awe! er ge, chun leong, kenneth can do some mean shuffling as well..


Kenneth was really nice.. seeing us a lil bored.. he brought us to the R & B dance floor.. yea.. but things got a lil... so we went back to the gang for a wile.. oh.. E lin and mich had tequila shots for the 1st time!

Yeah.. after that we had bacardi 151.. super duper strong.. introed by mich..
with just 2 shots me and mich quite high.. erge and lyn had one and lyn got high! hee.. as the night went on.. we danced and danced and danced.. Oh.. C yang's gf Lian was really nice.. very sweet, very pretty.. two thumbs up!

Night ended with er ge taking us back in a cab.. thanks er ge!! really.. really.. for always looking over us.. and the rest Chun leong, Kenneth, Chee Yang, Lian, for taking care of us.. sorry we were of any inconvenience~..

Okay.. the recent Friday night.. me and lyn headed over to Hushbar.. for Yongene, Kok tee, and Jason's event.. met Adeline, Evelyn, Kelene, Joseph, Davies etc all trinity pals.. had tequila shots and bacardi 151 again.. then met Diyana and Aisyah.. drank something Diyana bought.. was really good.. but dem big glass.. have to ask her what it was.. had something else too.. dunno wat it is either.. taste like green tea..

anyways.. danced together.. but dance floor quite small.. oh.. met jason's gf by accident.. haha.. u will never guess.. in the toilet! when i was leavin she came up and we hugged.. haha.. jason was like wei.. how u noe her? i was like in the toilet.. he laughed then told me.. thats my gf.. Also met i guy which I just met earlier that day in school.. AJ.. trying to pick up girls??.. haha.. such a small world!



Bye people! Happy Hollidays~~ lots of love!

Why is it we want things others want?

Have u ever gone shopping with frens and had a conversation..
A : (Randomly picks up bag and poses in front of mirror.. heheh)
B : My god so nice.. the buckles so special.. so cute got ribbon somemore..
A : Really? the colour quite bleh right? Orange wo.. Ugly wei..
B : Oh.. u "bo" suka ah? dun buy lo.. (eyes bag greedily)
Ending : Girl A bought the bag.. surprised? I think not.. true la.. girl A might not particularly like that bag but would still consider buying it.. Y? Because girl B wants it..

I was thinking.. could it be because people just want to have a little bit of assurance.. just the pleasure of knowing we have something others would approve of.. so we can feel like we are accepted in this society? So that we are so called "IN"?? I really don't know..

Isn't it why we follow fashion trends.. keep up with the newest music.. make sure we are playing the latest games? Just so we blend in with the rest and for some cases so we stand out?

In a way aren't we really dumb? I mean.. for example there we are eating at some fancy smancy restaurant just because it was listed.. or that everybody else seems to be going there.. dem stupid right?? and chances are.. the food might not even be good..

How is it other humans can influence us in ways we don't even realize? Who is setting this rules of what we want? Other people? All i can say is it is most probably not ourselves..